2008 at a glance

2008 is a very exciting year.
I experienced the toughest stage of working for people, to set up a supermarket Wal-Mart concept Pharmacy and Wellness centre.

I experienced working with listed company.

I'm hurt by someone whom I thought I could trust him the most.

I've completed half of the years of installment of my car.

I've changed, myself, to be a better person, who treasure life more than anytime before this.

I've made 2 major decisions in career, with the 3rd coming soon.

I'd experienced disappointment in career ladder too.

I'd managed to drive to KL & Klang alone.

I get to know more people.

I bought my 1st laptop.

I had the chance of going out with him, though we have 5 years gap, until
I feel hurt and pain, then I decided to move on, yet brain cells still can't help but thinking about him.I don't know what is in his mind. Neither am I sure that he know what is in mine.

I experienced my 1st tyre puncture.

I attended 3 best friends wedding, CH, CC, SD and 2 ROM, Bro & GS.

I spend quality time with old frens on 2008 New Year eve.

All in all, I think, I've become a better person in the year of 2008. I do hope I will be better in the months and year to come!!

Happy New Year! Gambate!

The End?

I cannot describe how much I dislike you, how much I wonder how did I end up feeling so stressful and frustrated after I commit myself to start a new life with you. Many times, I feel like putting the relationship to an end. I didn't. I keep on struggling within me to stay on, until the day, surprisingly, I realised I've fall for you.

It is you who gave me such priceless experience. You have inspired me and given me courage to move on with my life and challenge myself to aim higher, without fear. i treasure our relationship very much now, I couldn't help myself but keep on thinking about you and try all I can to strengthen the bond. Every obstacles is now a challenge to me.

However, very soon, I realised we have different goals/aims in life. It makes me ponder, whether our relationship will turn out to be fruitful, or we will end up in different path in life.

I think it is advisable to end our pathway which lead us to different direction. I can conclude that I like something I can't have. It is like a relationship between a couple, where both person do have feeling for each other but, they will never end up to be together because of different interest/ they are from different country and each party has to be in their own country.

Reluctant, sayang, but, life goes on. Our experience in life is our station in our life journey. We go to many many area, stop by, hang around, then we hop on to the train again and countinue our journey to go other station.


Never know I have the courage to do things like that. I really did.

Nike says: Just do it!

After i land myself in my new job this year, i have come to realised that, I really want to try many things and do many things while I am young and dare to fail. My action of giving the resignation letter before getting a job has actually inspired me and given me much encouragement to do many things I want to try in life. There is nothing to afraid of. just like what Nike says, JUST DO IT!

Reflections of year 2008.

Hello December 2008!!Time flies... As my mind still vividly remember the conversation during CNY 2008 with all friends, December come knocking.. Wow!! Christmas is here!!

Let's refresh, what happened in year 2008...

The greatest change of me in 2008 is me landed myself ina new job.I was still working in my 1st company in the early years, after much delay of the idea of leaving. I remember I celebrated CNY with my secondary school collega friends as usual. At De Cacao with secondary school friend, our batchmate is getting more at late night, many come to the same spot without arrangement, and eventually we form a big group there, chatting away the night, with the friends whom we hardly speak to in high school, but speak like 10 years friend now. :) That's life.

I finally made up my mind to leave my 1st company, without planning what to do after leaving. That time, I only think--- I have to make the move. Otherwise I will be always here and nothing will happen, anyway. So, tada! i finally give da letter to my boss. Many were asking where am I going, and when my answer is I don't know, I see all kinds of shock and weird faces. Hmm....

Sometimes, I believe, we have to make the decision, and the solution will come on its own. I tried to apply to a few position, and went for a few interviews, Most required me to work in Klang Valley, and I'm not very comfortable with the area they require me to work. It was quite a hard decision. I'm afriad I will lose the job, at the same time worry that I will not like the job.

Eventually I found a good job, sorry.. a job I thotught was good, and landed myself in the company. So, i say goodbye to all bosses and business associates and colleagues and family, then start my new journey in life in KL. It was my first time in life to drive to KL from my hometown up north, driving to and fro for few trips. My temporary stay in KL was good, (because company bear all charges) hahah....

I start my new job in June after a trip with whole gang of friends from the same field to Sabah. Feel sad for not being able to join them in the future in view of the busy schedule. What to do?? Life goes on....

I was assigned to run a brand new concept store in North in Aug 2008. I was back in North in early Aug to prepare for the new store opening. I tell you, it was extremely challenging and interesting, and suffering!! Sigh.... I wake up early in the morning and came home late night, asking myself why am I doing all this. I keep telling myself, I have to survive until the store open, i simply cannot stop halfway. how torturing also I must go through t and make it happen. It really happened, my store was officially borned on 22 Aug 2008. It was a happy morning, happy day for me, all my colleagues and my bosseSS. It was also the 1st time of me chatting with the CEO of my company, with much honour.

It is a very new experience for me, with many extra condition that I have to fulfill, which I don't have to in my previous job, for example monthly target, supermarket management, incentives scheme, the so many types of procedureSSSS, I actually didn't take it seriously, until I notice I can really make it, that's when I try to take it as a challenge. Afterall, if i am able to achieve what is expected, it will certainly help my staff to get a better life. (they get more $$)

I actually always complaint and many a times, thought of giving up initially. Miracle happened, as said by my colleague, that i start to love my job eventually now.

Silly hor??..

Like something I can't have.

In life, sometimes, we have to choose and make decision. I have 2 things that I like, but I can't have it.

1st, a relationship. I'm afraid I can't have it, because we have different path in life. We are also in different place far away. I do not know whether there will be any outcome if we put our effort. How to maintain? How to build? Even if we can build and maintain it very well, we are not sure whether the relationship will have any happy ending. Reality bites.

2nd, a career that I once thought of giving up. I am now loving it. Amazing how I can transform from dislike a career to slowly loving it. One of my colleague say, "You are the first person to say that.. there must be a miracle that happened." hmm... I believe I come to this stage after going through the up and down all this while. It's more like an evolution. Unfortunately I discovered another side of me, whereby I am now at the junction of life again, time to make yet another decision that.determine my life. Hmm... Big decision.. I shall absorb it, decide and act fast. I need support!!!!

So, that's me now.. :~

Fight for your rights.

I gone through a period of emotional crisis lately. There were few issues that happened at the same time, and I got really frustrated. Now that things have settled, I start to reflects my life.

I realised in my life, i have to always fight for what I want. Reason? I do not usually get what i want/wish. When i was small, i do not get to buy sweets/junk food that other young chidren enjoy. i do not get extra money to bu the weekly paper magazine sold at 30cents at the side door of my primary school.

Once my parents brought us all to a book fair in Penang. I wanted to buy a book written by Enid Blyton (Did i spell that correctly??) and was rejected. I was so into the book and I wanted it so much, I do not understand why they say the writer is good, the story is good for our age to learn, yet i was not allowed to get one.

When i was in uni, i was the only one who do not have fancy dress, branded clothes, make up, car, cash, handphone etc. When i went to Scotland for further studies, i am the only one with no handphone and extra cash. Some were teasing me, I know. What to do? I do not have the priviledge to get those luxuries.

I thought to myself, that I am going to get what i want with my own effort when i grew up. It's ok I cannot get it now. I will do that later, when I am financially independent. i thank my parents for giving me such experience. Though it was painful, it really taught me of the vlue of life and the value of getting something with you rown effort.

I am slowly moving towards achieving things I want in life. from small item that i fancy to the necessity that I want to have, but to many others, it may be a luxury. I treasure what i have now, especially what I get from my hard work.

I appreciate life more.

Part II

I am lucky to secure my position in Penang. So, I started my life with Aeon in Klang Valley, visiting all Wellness pharmacy to gain as much experience, skills, before my store pen in end August. I’ve been working there, travel up north and south frequently by driving alone. It’s kind of busy and crazy. I can be in Penang today and in KL tomorrow, back to penang next week. Sometimes I confused where am I supposed to be. Luckily I have a car with me. It is also my first time driving all the way from SP to KL alone, and the trip is enjoyable because there is no jam and traffic is very smooth.

4 August marks the day when I officially start working in my store in Bandar Perda, Penang. There were so many things to prepare, so many parties to entertain, so many big and small issue to handle. From renovation, rectifying, cleaning, receiving, arranging, organizing, training, endless meetingssssSSSS to attend, bla bla bla…. The list goes on. My patience is very much challenged during that period of time. I start work very early and only comes home very late. It is really NOT easy to handle and IMPOSSIBLE to finish everything without effective manpower. Thank god, everything goes on quite smoothly, until the soft opening of Aeon Shopping Complex, Bandar Perda on 22 Aug 2008.

It was exciting to see the pharmacy finally open to the public after all hard work and sacrifice we’ve done for it to be a success. We have a good opening and everybody is happily feel exhausted and tired. My boss is also in good mood and happy. Phew…..

Everybody was so excited to know how is the response and sales on our 1^st day of opening. There is a Chinese saying, “It is not easy to start a business, and even harder to maintain the business” I couldn’t agree more and I actually feel stress about it. When you’re doing well, boss will expect something better from you. If you cannot make it, whatever contribution or hard work you’ve put in might become meaningless. That’s what I worry about. My boss has already increase my target for October L and he already informed me that target for 2009 will be higher. Oh god! How??? Worse, my first target next year is THREE (3) times my target this year. I better don’t think of it now to give additional stress for myself.

I’ve stay with Aeon for 4months+ now. I am relieved I actually gone through it and finding a balance in my work. If you ask me how’s is it like working with Aeon? My reply would be: It is a roller coster like experience.

Seriously, it’s not a normal task for anybody to join Aeon, especially a pharmacist. Culture shock is normal. Job that seems out of our responsibilities are also normal. Whatever seems to be common sense and normal to us, might not be normal to the company. I’ve gone through a severe culture shock in the early stage of my employment when I was still in KL, and major crisis happened when I first came back to Penang for the very early preparation of our new store opening, when I first meet all the other colleagues. I really feel like crying, tears rolling in my eyes and my colleague ask me whether I didn’t get enough sleep. She then told me that it is normal if I react like this now. It is very common every pharmacist will feel like how I feel. L A BIG SIGH……. That time I feel like running away and quit right away, go far away from Aeon. I wish time pass in the speed of light, that everything will be over, just like that. I have no heart to continue the journey. It was a painful experience.

So how did I survived until today huh??? Maybe perseverence and patience is the key. Emotional support from my pharmacist manager and pharmacist colleague did helped a lot. I will be fine if they understand how I feel at that moment. Luckily they understand, because they’ve gone through what I am going through. I wouldn’t say I’m stable now but I’m learning to be stable and stay cool for any disaster that happens.

New exciting and challenging life (Part I)

I have been away for so long. Let me post some updates.

I went to Kota Kinabalu again on 30 May 2008. The trip was relaxing but not as fun as my 2^nd trip there where I can get superb place to stay (Sutera Harbour Resort Hotel) , nice delicious seafood to indulge, and also Mandara spa to relax myself. That was my first time doing full body massage and strangely after the massage I didn’t have much feeling about it. Either the massager is not good enough, or I have no stress. (Is that possible ???)

I report duty to my new job with a Japanese company a day after I came back from KK. I was told to be there 8.45am, but when I reach there on time, nobody is there attending to me because, according to the security, all staff went for assembly. So I sit there and wait….wait…..wait……

It was the HR staff who briefed us on the company and we’re given a handbook, one of the interesting content of the handbook is category of misconduct. If any staff were found of any misconduct that is categorized, then action will be taken. They actually have a “court” to penalize those who were found guilty of the misconduct. I’d better be a good person in this company to avoid this kind of treatment.

I was then being brought to the HQ office, which gave me a big surprise, of how actually is their work place in this big company. It is all open with no cubicle at all, and there are many strings hanging, those were the switch to the lights. It’s is not centralized. This is in line to their policy to love the environment and to cut electricity cost. Every staff will have a table and a computer, and the tables were arranged together so that all staff sit face to face, with manager sitting at the end, facing all staff.

This open concept gave us a surprise, we really didn’t expect such a company will have such a policy. Office itself is an eye opener to us.

2 June marks the new era in my life, I become an employee of a Japanese company, Aeon Bhd, working in Aeon Wellness Pharmacy. It is a brand new life with loads of new things to explore and learn and also suffer, suffer as in, no pain no gain. To be continued……

Bye bye..... Hello!!

This entry inspired by Mariah Carey's latest single- "Bye Bye".
It doesn't have anythign to do with the lyric though, since Bye bye is for those who lost somebody.
My bye bye is to bye my current job. Today is my 2nd last day in the company. New job starting very soon, new environment, new exposure. something that I excitingly anticipating. Not that I don't like my current job, but it's jz det I feel, it's time to move on.

I spend 3 yrs ++ in 1 job. Sure there are so manyy memories that I cherish. Sometimes when I think of the chronology of my working experience, it really gives me a laugh. Whatever I've gonen through is precious in my life.

It took a strong will and courage to give "da letter". Once given, i feel relieved s finally I managed to reli, MAKE the decision and free myself from keep on thinking about 1 same thing.

To bye, I wish to say a BIG THANK YOU to my boss, my staff, my colleagues, reps, managers, supervisors, etc all involved in my 3 yrs ++ service. I wish you all the best!!! and DO KEEP IN TOUCH!!!!!

I shall tidy my table tomorrow, b4 i say Good Bye! :)

Recruitment

My current company is recruiting for pharmacist to be based in Sg Petani, Kedah.
Me start to feel worry because there is only 1 candidate for us but the candidate is out from our consideration.
Anyone, please if you have frens/relatives/bisness associate/uncle's@ aunty's daughter/son, etc etc, do feel free to
contact me at 04-4215044 / 04-4202100, or
fax resume to 04-4253946. Alternatively
e-mail us at zuphar@yahoo.com

btw, my company name is Zuffa Pharmacy Sdn Bhd. A chain pharmacy in northern region.
Salary negotiable with experience, pharmacist enjoy flexible working hours n other benefits..

沉醉其中

昨天上了一个Dinner talk, 演讲人来自英国伦敦。本人心里很自然的想象自己仿佛身在英国，在那熟悉的天气和熟悉的地方上课，乐在其中！很满意，很开心，什么都值得了。这次的参与也令我觉得不枉此行，因为我很享受！隔天起了个大早到海边跑步，早餐之后到镇上补货，然后就起程去上班咯！生活过得很写意，也很充实。

有时候，觉得自己其实不能活得很轻松。轻松下来就会觉得很彷徨无助，生活没有目标，觉得有点虚度青春。 看来，是真的得让自己忙得不可开交才行。

期待着我的新目标。。。 =）

5th car service

When people generally can't wait for Sunday to come, I wait for Friday as my day off falls on Friday in my state. It's another Friday today and my car is due for its 5th service. My plan for the day is to send my car for service then head to Penang island to get few things done, also partly to satisfy my crave for a 100% stress free day with window shopping.



I remember I spent about RM 200 to change the transmission oil the last time I service my car (routine). Luckily this time I pay less than RM 10. I thought of sending the car early so that it can be ready by 1pm so that I can cross the Penang bridge to Penang island. Unfortunately by the time I got my car back, it's already 3.15pm. It's quite late for me to go to the island because I will be caught in the massive Friday jam, fighting with those who work in island to come back to the mainland.



There was a delay in the car service. Half way walking to claim my car one technician came and say he forgot to inform about the problem with the car battery. I am still happy with the delay of the car service because they change the car battery and it is FOC (still under warranty ma) else I guess I have to pay another RM 200 again. Now the car is back to its top condition :)



I hang around in Auto City with a biz fren that afternoon and had a stress free tea time. While waiting for my sis to meet me for dinner, I head to one boutique nearby. I tried 2 dress, which the sales girl try her best to alter the oversize dress and keep on pushing me to buy the dress immediately. That really pissed me off and I quickly tell that I'm in a rush I have to go. I will never go to that boutique again.



Nvm with the unhappy incident. I am still in good mood. hehe.... I later joined my sis to have Korean food dinner. Recently went with a fren to try a Korean food restaurant in SP and the comment on the food is not so nice but acceptable. This one I went with my sis is one of the big chain in Malaysia so I thought I can taste the real nice Korean food. The outcome was very disappointing. Every food is very super salty!!!! The spicy kimchi soup taste is killed by the saltiness. It's definitely highly NOT recommended for people with health problems especially those with high blood pressure. Disappointing..... disappointing.......



I treat myself very very well this festive February by feeding my stomach all good and expensive food. Had 3 rounds 3 rounds of Jap food (1 buffet 2 ala carte), with the 4th coming tomorrow (same Jap food buffet dinner 2 times in a month), 2 rounds Korean food, countless CNY food and cookies, Penang street food 1 week before CNY, 2 rounds of karaoke, with the 3rd coming tomorrow also after jap food buffet. Wow!!!! What a life..

I feel.... alone---lonely

How will you feel if you knot or don hv to do something you do everyday@ on a routine?

I feel lonely.

A close fren will be away for 4 days with no way of communication. Another fren will be away for at least a month, even my brother will be away for 3 weeks. The boredom is killing me slowly. I find it hard to get used to the situation. Suddenly I feel as though the world has nobody except me. All alone, helpless, scary, sad.

The biggest weakness of mine is I am able to make myself feel down and cannot lift my own mood. I like to be in the sad grey world of myself. This is so ^*#@#$%^ I myself hate. It is extremely hard for people to motivate me, almost hopeless for me to motivate myself. This is also a major problem that stop me from making important decision in life with my career.

I know this is not right but I cannot figure out the solution.

:(

HAPPY STEP IS..

I don't mean to make a boring entry this time by listing some happy steps here. They are sent to me from a close unique friend of mine since I had some tough time in life few weeks ago. My friend sent them 1 by 1, 1 a day, until my SMS Inbox is almost full now. Although it makes no help when I received them, (in very very bad mood ma,, how to think wisely??) I'm glad that I have this unique friend, and so I want to save them here, for viewing in the future. I hope you will get inspired too :)

HAPPY STEP:

• Remind yourself that you can to do what you need to do & reward yourself as often as possible for doing what you have done.
• Live in present moment. The only moment we can truly be happy & have control is the present moment. So be happy now because if not now, then when?
• Control what you can control. Accept what you can't control. And learn to be wise enough to know the difference.
• Manage your time & priorities. Happy ppl believe they more in control of their lives. They are more likely to take active approach to solve problems.
• If something is not quite right in your life, do something. And further, make sure that what you are doing is important. Put first things first.
• Play and have fun. Don't take life too seriously. We all have responsibilities yet we can approach much of our lives in playful manner.
• Weed out unhelpful thoughts. Learn first to identify your thoughts & then begin to challenge those that are negative and unhelpful.
• Socialise & interact as much as possible. Happy ppl have more & better quality relationships. It's worthwhile improving the no of relationships
• Find a buddy with whom to exercise, challenge negative thoughts, or whatever. Most activities are more enjoyable with a supportive friend.
• Learn to like & idealy love yourself. We must love b4 we can be loved. To love others & to be loved by others is a key component of happiness.
• Identify your strengths. Know your faults and weaknesses to avoid problems. Know the strengths to be really happy and to succeed in life.

and some "philosophy and wise word of life"

• Remind yourself to be your own best friend & challenge your own negative thinking & self-criticism the same way.
• Be aware of unhelpful thoughts & try to become more realistic in assessing the likely outcome that we tend to overestimate. Don't be unreasonably positive.
• When you are trying to solve problem, make sure you evaluate possible solutions in more balanced way- paying attention to what may go wrong and vice versa.
• Worry is a common problem- many of us will experience at some stage in our lives & works against happiness-yet it is a problem that can be overcome.
• The central method for a happier life is to train your mind in a daily practice that weakens negative attitudes & strengthens positive ones - Dalai Lamaos
• Time is like river. You cannot touch the same water twice, bcos the flow that has passed will never pass again. Enjoy every moment of life!
• Life has no rewinds and forwards, it unfolds itself at its own pace. So never miss a chance to live today & make a beautiful story for tomorrow.
• Life ends when u stop dreaming, hope ends when u stop believing, love ends when u stop caring, so dream, hope & love. Life is beautiful.
• Rich people see opportunities. Poor people see obstacles. Rich people see potential growth. Poor people see potential loss. Rich people focus on the rewards. poor focus on the risks. (T. HarvEker, in his book, Secrets of Millionaire Mind)
• The mountains are not as high, the seas not as deep and the skies not as bright as a dream.
• Someday beyond our tears and all the words wrong there will be love, compassion, and justice and we shall all understand.

Now I can have mroe space in my phone. Enjoy!

My entertainment

Ever since I have my 'daughter', I always drive around towns hanging out with friends. I almost visited Penang state every week, esp on Friday (my day off) My sister's friend said I'm fit to be a sales representative since I like driving around and sometimes become nomad (Stay overnite outstation) . My friend, C wonder how I can go around driving alone from one place to another. My answer to her is, I have no driver ma... , C always have, according to her friend, DriverS.. to drive her whenever they go out hang out somewhere, whereas I'm here alone so I have to drive myself lo.


I stay in a place where there is no entertainment. Grocery shopping is excellent because we have Tesco, Giant and Econsave here, all with ample free parking. I do not have many friend here. Most, almost all of them are either working or already settle down in KL. That is the reason why I always travel to Penang, to meet my other group of college friends.


Today is a Friday that I don't travel. I wake up early in the morning to go marketing. Managed to 'catch' fish, chicken, prawn and vegetables. I prepare lunch and dinner for my family. Our lunch menu today is chicken with fungus & Szechuan vege + Stir fry vegetables + watercress soup. Went out to yam cha after lunch, and come back 4pm, chat with TG, online and prepare dinner. Dinner for the day is Fried egg with leek and carrot, Brocolli and soup.

It's a relax Friday. :)
Nit to go do ironing now...That's my weekend job..

Being single

I'm a single lady working in my hometown in Northern region of Malaysia. My life involved work, hanging out with friends and do everything alone.

I had some bad experience last week and I went to Penang to have my hair cut, shopping out of frustration, do manicure and pedicure. I had my breakfast and lunch alone. I do all this alone. Driving alone in the morning til the afternoon when I have to leave my car in penang and take Rapid Penang from Bukit Jambul (South side of Penang) to the ferry terminal to cross over to mainland, on a rainy day. It was so cold in the bus.

The hairdresser look at me one kind when he know that I come all the way alone from my hometown to Penang and go to his saloon alone and he jokingly say I must be in Penang to see my boyfriend. Maybe I'm too sensitive to think that his comment is quite sarcastic. I was under frustration and sadness when I do my hair cut. Being alone suddenly make me feel so lonely as if there's nothing I can depend on in life. That thinking keep bothering me. I guess there are 2 ways, positive and negative way to look at this. Think it positively, I can be independent in doing things I wanna do. The negative way would be I'm so lonely in life, helpless and life has little meaning. Whichever way that is, I don't feel good at it.

Reality sets in and I came to realise that we human need a soul mate. No matter how happy go lucky you are, you really need someone that you can trust and depend on when we are in need of somebody. Friends, even best friend might not be available when you need them. Family member will not be there always. I went through this horrible experience few weeks ago. HAiii...

A fren enlightened me that, Happiness is within us, you cannot get it outside. I'm sure this only apply when a person is at his/her normal mood. For a person who is depressed, they need antidote to their emotional breakdown.

What is interesting this year??

It's that time of the year again.

I will be celebrating my birthday next month :) I've decided on what item to buy as my bday present. The problem now is I have no clue what to do this year bday. I'm a very shy girl last time, I like to hide myself on my bday bcos i feel that I create trouble to people if they remember the date bcos they have to take the trouble to wish happy bday, get presents etc. I was like det until 2 years ago when I suddenly feel that bday shud be a day to be happy and celebrate, stay happy. So me and my friends ended up having steambost dinner after work and put a nite in Penang island, followed by karaoke session the next day.

Last year, we planned a trip to Cameron highland. On the way back from Cameron, we all go K again at Megamall Prai. I thought K was unplanned and the bday celebration was the trip to Cameron only. I feel the warm at heart when friends gave me a surprise cake in K room. It was a touching moments. =)

This year.... until now i hv no idea what to do.
Karaoke? no. Not sth new.
BBQ? no. Don't like to wait to eat and also dirty myself with charcoal on my bday.
Vacation? probably not. Reluctant to take leave.
Drink? no.
Dinner with friend? Maybe. Too bad my bday fall on weekday this year.

Nvm... tere's still time to think... I welcome you to give me some ideas yo!!

Feeling better

Hooohhhhh... after a stressful events, i finally feel relief and the burden cut into half. Meeting up with the right person do helps :)



I get spoilt easily especialy if i get enough attention from best buddy. When I realised all the effort I've done doesn't help at all to relief my stess, I guess the best option, once and for all, is to meet the best buddy who can influence our life.



I have a very very extremely unique friend in my life. Let's call this friend, T. (alomak this sounds like the Thelma letter that appear in TheStar)



We are close friend, best buddy, family, mentor etc, you name it. each of us can play multi role in our relationship. It is so unique and neither of us can define our relationship. I have the priviledge to meet T for lunch today & I request T to scold me... Just scold me to slap me to wake up,alternatively "gaduh" with me. T did and i feel better. it's like all brain cells hv been activated.



Now 1 thing very clear is I have a long overdue decision to make. The issue have been dragged for so long. I cannot make decision because I'm scared and alone. Aiks.... It's about my career, whether to be an ordinary employee or employee cum manager. It is easy to be an ordinary employee, but for employee cum manager, the risk is there and must be taken into consideration. I can't simply join any company to hold the 'cum manager' post. Single and alone girl like me really find this decision tough to take. Reality bites.

HHaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway, I'm happy I'm feeling better now, although not 100% recovered.

I am sick

I was all alone in my sad world for the past 3 days, torturing myself by starving myself, sometimes overeat, overspending and being moody.

There's a saying goes.... "We must love before we can be loved" I do agree with it and share it with friends but it doesn't work for me. I am always left alone especially in times of need.

I have headache today. It started from the afternoon until now and it doesn't wanna go away. I think all thanks to the stress I had for the past few days. I should treat myself good but you see, this is what I've done. I'm not a person who is always positive.

That's enough for today. The pain attack me again. I'm going home now and I shall sleep early today.

Bad mood

I noticed I only blog when I'm down.
I think I had enough, I think I should leave now. Yet, I don't know where to go. I can't find the place where me and my parents are comfortable with, hence I'm still where I am, I can't move because I don't kno what to do.

I am down. Yesterday I spent money to kill my sad and so down mood. Unfortunately this time it didn't work. I then meet up with few friends and we go for a drink, hoping I will get better after that, but still, I wake up this morning with the same down mood. Oh my! I remember I was like this about 2 weeks ago. Damn the frequency has increased! This is a bad news.

Not only that, work is also not smooth today. Few customers who are illogical and bad mood scolding people around. Aiyoyo.... We tend to have this kind of customers on Saturday, so my already bad mood become worse. I can't move my face muscle well. Didn't smile, reluctant to talk much to customers, luckily the business doesn't belong to me. Oops..