Being single

I'm a single lady working in my hometown in Northern region of Malaysia. My life involved work, hanging out with friends and do everything alone.

I had some bad experience last week and I went to Penang to have my hair cut, shopping out of frustration, do manicure and pedicure. I had my breakfast and lunch alone. I do all this alone. Driving alone in the morning til the afternoon when I have to leave my car in penang and take Rapid Penang from Bukit Jambul (South side of Penang) to the ferry terminal to cross over to mainland, on a rainy day. It was so cold in the bus.

The hairdresser look at me one kind when he know that I come all the way alone from my hometown to Penang and go to his saloon alone and he jokingly say I must be in Penang to see my boyfriend. Maybe I'm too sensitive to think that his comment is quite sarcastic. I was under frustration and sadness when I do my hair cut. Being alone suddenly make me feel so lonely as if there's nothing I can depend on in life. That thinking keep bothering me. I guess there are 2 ways, positive and negative way to look at this. Think it positively, I can be independent in doing things I wanna do. The negative way would be I'm so lonely in life, helpless and life has little meaning. Whichever way that is, I don't feel good at it.

Reality sets in and I came to realise that we human need a soul mate. No matter how happy go lucky you are, you really need someone that you can trust and depend on when we are in need of somebody. Friends, even best friend might not be available when you need them. Family member will not be there always. I went through this horrible experience few weeks ago. HAiii...

A fren enlightened me that, Happiness is within us, you cannot get it outside. I'm sure this only apply when a person is at his/her normal mood. For a person who is depressed, they need antidote to their emotional breakdown.