Just came back from the 2nd gathering of SMSM group (high school friend) There were more people today. Again, the only singles are the same person yesterday. Another friend announced his wedding day.
A friend who is close to the "once-special-someone" came at the end of the session and before I leave, he said to me "Try to open the door of your heart", in mandarin, "xin1 men2 kai1 yi4 dian3". Before he open his mouth, I had a feeling that he is telling me how the "once-special-someone" is doing now, which turn out to be wrong, obviously.
That gave me a shock. I've only seen him 3 times over the past 10 years, twice during CNY and in town at the traffic light.
Another friend who always ask me the same question every year, "When are you going to introduce yours(bf) to us?" My answer is always "When i get to know him", then my tai tai lou start to pair us the 2 singles.
This year, it looks like friends are more concern on my love life during hangout. HHmmmmmmm......... How le?
I've just decided to leave it aside 2 months ago wor... Reason? I don't want to hurt myself or let myself get hurt anymore lor.. I've also started my 'self protection' plan. How le??
I leave it to fate. If we meet, we meet and things may work out. Otherwise, what can I do? Please do not ask me to take action. I just can't.
Dear all my old mates, thank you for your concern. Appreciate that. I will try to reconsider when I am alone thinking.
One of them ask, how long can we maintain the gathering like this. So sad to hear this Q. Nobody is able to answer the Q. We really don't know. Not because we don't want to, but, we will have different responsibilities with our own family. I totally understand that. Still, I wish, our strong bond and friendship of 12 years will remain.
Finally, today, I learnt to talk through hand shake. I talk less than 10 sentence with my close friend, yesterday and today.
Break record.
The situation is different now.
I wish the friendship will remain the same or better.
Glad we can still talk this way.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
An unusual CNY gathering
Before this CNY, we predicted the number of 'attendees' in friends gathering will be significantly reduced. Nothing to do with the current economic situation, only thing is, most of our close friends are already married.
Our prediction turns out to be true.There were less than 10 of us. Of that, only 2 are still single. 1 of them has been single for a long time, the other has just became single not too long ago.
Oh yes there were 2 spouses with only one of them is our high school friend, who also bring her very very cute daughter. =) glad to see her. I guess me and the other close friend's spouse came from a different planet in our last life, because I could not communicate with her anytime we meet.
Me am not trying to be 'small gas' to grab attention/looking for trouble, neither do I love to keep hatred to exercise my limited brain cells so much. The first few times we meet, we could hardly chat. The conversation is very simple, 1 answer will be given for 1 Q, Only. Over time, I realised, that happens to only me.
Once, me and a friend visited our close high school friend in KL and we went for dinner together. That is the time when me feel extremely uneasy. Not only there is zero communication, what i received is super black charcoal face. I seriously dislike it. I feel I'm a trouble, which i think, it is not normal to show this face to a friend who come from far to visit. Have I done something wrong which I may have overlooked? Okay okay, I try to understand city girl are like that. Me and my friend did talk about it few months later, when we almost debate over the issue and I doubt whether our friendship will break because of it. I do not wish that to happen.
I tried to communicate, I tried to understand, but, I still fail to see her talking to me. Tell me if me am too ugly to talk to u, me will make up before me meet you, Tell me that me smell, me will make sure me bath and use perfume before me see you. After so many attempts, finally, on their wedding day, when me purposely go up to her to wish her, only to see myself being ignored face to face even before me finish my sentence, me decided to give up.
Me hope she will feel better, and I will be happier. I like to stay happy, I like to enjoy when it's the time to enjoy, especially during gathering or meeting the old mates session. It's okay if you dislike me because we came from different planet last time, or for whatever reason that make you treat me like that! Me do not tink me deserved that treatment. Me do not want to spoil the relationship between me and my friend. Me will leave you alone and make sure me am happy. Me hope you feel a lot better, even if you're not, I'm sorry, my aim is to enjoy the session and make sure myself not been treated like invisible/someone who owed you lotsa lotsa money. If that is your attempt to spoil our relationship as well as my close 12 years friendship, I am speechless.
Today, the very first time we meet after I decided to give up. As a host, once again, she ignored me. I do not see any reason I have to please her and make her talk to me. It is a public place though you are a host, so I can sit down and gather with my old mates. I ensure our seating arrangement is good enough and distance enough for you to have enough reasonable reason to ignore me. I know my friend is also making effort to suit the situation, thanks, I thank you for still maintaining our friendship of 12 years.
---------
I have something to add: Thank you for your understanding over the past 12 years. I am sorry if this make you think that I am doing unnecessary things. From the day of your big day, I start to have a feeling that I could no longer chat with you like last time. I do not wish to create any trouble to you. I wish you can live happily with your new family and our friendship is still valid for the next 12, 24, 36, 48, 60, 72..... year. I also wish, this issue will resolve one day. I do not wish to see unhappy face caused by me.
Wishing you a Happy, Healthy, Wealthy, Prosperity Ox Year!!
Message for you and your family to welcome Ox Year,
Later, Mr Chung and his family will visit me. I'll ask them to visit you too! The Chung family members are: Chung Ma Piu, Chung Tai Choi, Chung ToTo & Chung 4D. They will be there to wish you Good Luck for 2009. fyi, Chung Saman is out of town this year, so,
ENJOY!! HAPPY NIU YEAR!
Our prediction turns out to be true.There were less than 10 of us. Of that, only 2 are still single. 1 of them has been single for a long time, the other has just became single not too long ago.
Oh yes there were 2 spouses with only one of them is our high school friend, who also bring her very very cute daughter. =) glad to see her. I guess me and the other close friend's spouse came from a different planet in our last life, because I could not communicate with her anytime we meet.
Me am not trying to be 'small gas' to grab attention/looking for trouble, neither do I love to keep hatred to exercise my limited brain cells so much. The first few times we meet, we could hardly chat. The conversation is very simple, 1 answer will be given for 1 Q, Only. Over time, I realised, that happens to only me.
Once, me and a friend visited our close high school friend in KL and we went for dinner together. That is the time when me feel extremely uneasy. Not only there is zero communication, what i received is super black charcoal face. I seriously dislike it. I feel I'm a trouble, which i think, it is not normal to show this face to a friend who come from far to visit. Have I done something wrong which I may have overlooked? Okay okay, I try to understand city girl are like that. Me and my friend did talk about it few months later, when we almost debate over the issue and I doubt whether our friendship will break because of it. I do not wish that to happen.
I tried to communicate, I tried to understand, but, I still fail to see her talking to me. Tell me if me am too ugly to talk to u, me will make up before me meet you, Tell me that me smell, me will make sure me bath and use perfume before me see you. After so many attempts, finally, on their wedding day, when me purposely go up to her to wish her, only to see myself being ignored face to face even before me finish my sentence, me decided to give up.
Me hope she will feel better, and I will be happier. I like to stay happy, I like to enjoy when it's the time to enjoy, especially during gathering or meeting the old mates session. It's okay if you dislike me because we came from different planet last time, or for whatever reason that make you treat me like that! Me do not tink me deserved that treatment. Me do not want to spoil the relationship between me and my friend. Me will leave you alone and make sure me am happy. Me hope you feel a lot better, even if you're not, I'm sorry, my aim is to enjoy the session and make sure myself not been treated like invisible/someone who owed you lotsa lotsa money. If that is your attempt to spoil our relationship as well as my close 12 years friendship, I am speechless.
Today, the very first time we meet after I decided to give up. As a host, once again, she ignored me. I do not see any reason I have to please her and make her talk to me. It is a public place though you are a host, so I can sit down and gather with my old mates. I ensure our seating arrangement is good enough and distance enough for you to have enough reasonable reason to ignore me. I know my friend is also making effort to suit the situation, thanks, I thank you for still maintaining our friendship of 12 years.
---------
I have something to add: Thank you for your understanding over the past 12 years. I am sorry if this make you think that I am doing unnecessary things. From the day of your big day, I start to have a feeling that I could no longer chat with you like last time. I do not wish to create any trouble to you. I wish you can live happily with your new family and our friendship is still valid for the next 12, 24, 36, 48, 60, 72..... year. I also wish, this issue will resolve one day. I do not wish to see unhappy face caused by me.
Wishing you a Happy, Healthy, Wealthy, Prosperity Ox Year!!
Message for you and your family to welcome Ox Year,
Later, Mr Chung and his family will visit me. I'll ask them to visit you too! The Chung family members are: Chung Ma Piu, Chung Tai Choi, Chung ToTo & Chung 4D. They will be there to wish you Good Luck for 2009. fyi, Chung Saman is out of town this year, so,
ENJOY!! HAPPY NIU YEAR!
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Pre-Chinese Niu (Ox) Year
CNY is just around the corner and is coming real soon. While people are burying themselves in the daily chorus to spring clean the house, I am home 5 days b4 CNY to get ready to celebrate Ox year.
What do me do?
1. CNY shopping-- I still like to shop at Carrefour. Oops I don't mean to be a non-Aeon supporter though, only thing is that I find more varieties at Carrefour, and quite importantly, I do get plastic bags when I shop at Car4.
2. Prepare CNY cookies-- We usually only prepare the famous SP "Ribbon Cookies" nowadays because all of us are already working adults. Unlike the time when we were still schooling, we make all sorts of CNY cookies at home, kuih kapit, kuih bangkit, etc.
To prepare the Ribbon cookies, we just need to buy the ready made raw material, cut it, fold it into a ribbon shape and then fry it until it turn golden brown colour. It's simply and yummy!! ;)
There is also something extra this year, ie Carrot walnut cake. I managed to buy imported walnut at a bargain price from my work place so I can make any walnut-related recipe now. hehe.... The response was good from facebook too!! Thx guys!
What do me do?
1. CNY shopping-- I still like to shop at Carrefour. Oops I don't mean to be a non-Aeon supporter though, only thing is that I find more varieties at Carrefour, and quite importantly, I do get plastic bags when I shop at Car4.
2. Prepare CNY cookies-- We usually only prepare the famous SP "Ribbon Cookies" nowadays because all of us are already working adults. Unlike the time when we were still schooling, we make all sorts of CNY cookies at home, kuih kapit, kuih bangkit, etc.
To prepare the Ribbon cookies, we just need to buy the ready made raw material, cut it, fold it into a ribbon shape and then fry it until it turn golden brown colour. It's simply and yummy!! ;)
There is also something extra this year, ie Carrot walnut cake. I managed to buy imported walnut at a bargain price from my work place so I can make any walnut-related recipe now. hehe.... The response was good from facebook too!! Thx guys!
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Being Rebellious
Last night, I've told myself to go to sleep and tomorrow I will know what to do. I wake up this morning and start preparing all necessary documents to say good bye.
I wish to work with dignity. Am i being ego? I hope not. I've personally think that I've contributed beyond expectations. Sometimes I put down my professioonal position to fulfill your requirement. Now, it's time to regain my dignity.
I begin to understand the corporate world. I begin to understand our mindset is so different. We do not see eye to eye. We think differently. No wonder you never understand. Whatever it is, I'm leaving. This time, I leave with dignity. I leave without feeling sad/effort wasted etc. I know what I've done, I know how I've performed, I wish you all the best, I hope you will be able to retain the current success that i enjoy in my department, if not make it better. You better do. If I come back to visit and I find you do not maintain it well, it is a shame on you!
I wish to work with dignity. Am i being ego? I hope not. I've personally think that I've contributed beyond expectations. Sometimes I put down my professioonal position to fulfill your requirement. Now, it's time to regain my dignity.
I begin to understand the corporate world. I begin to understand our mindset is so different. We do not see eye to eye. We think differently. No wonder you never understand. Whatever it is, I'm leaving. This time, I leave with dignity. I leave without feeling sad/effort wasted etc. I know what I've done, I know how I've performed, I wish you all the best, I hope you will be able to retain the current success that i enjoy in my department, if not make it better. You better do. If I come back to visit and I find you do not maintain it well, it is a shame on you!
Friday, January 09, 2009
Disappointed :(
I am very disappointed today.I feel officially not aprreciated today.
First, my potential shop owner rejected my request to use his shop. He said if I contact him 2 months ago, things will be different. He cannot let me use the shop now because he has execute his own plan and he need the shop. I feel my spirit drop to the very low level. Me cannot smile, me moody, me lazy, me sien....
Second, this is the best part. My boss blame me that I do not appreciate his hard work. He said he supported me all this while and now I cannot even fulfill his "small" request. He said he is not happy. He said he is disappointed that I cannot "help" him, eventhough he said this is his personal request.
Well well, he said he need time. I said I've given 2 month's time. When he said I do not appreciate his support, I begin to feel angry and very disappointed. I told him "If you want to talk about job duty, I've already go all out." Then, he said 'ha la ha la' and he hang up there. I'm sorry to say, I really look down at him. I do not see his leadership. I do not know how this way of solving problem can help him to retain me. I think he only make me feel even frustrated.
Now, shall I leave as planned or extend since he treated me like that? Before the conversation, I understand, that, when one is working for people, no matter how much effort you put in, your boss might not see it nor appreciate it, no matter how strong you are, regardless of how good you are, you are easily replaced by someone senior than you or even stronger than you or even a junior who know nothing.
After the conversation, I've now officially experienced it. Very sad, for all the effort and extra effort that I've injected in my work, not only it is not appreciated as professional, it is not even labelled as 'work'.
Dear Sir, I've done everything I can and I can't. I'd outdo myself to fulfill your requirement. It is ok if people from other department do not understand. I simply cannot accept you yourself, after so many experiences, failed to understand. No wonder, all under you leave one by one. I don't think I owe you anything or I do not contribute enough.
However if your little mind do not recognise, I wish you all the best. Enough is enough. I shall consider to just pull out and leave you alone. You must realise what are you doing and what have you contribute to our effort and grievances.
Last but not least, please remember you are the top person in your department in an adult world. Your image and leadership is important, for people to respect you and work for you. Kindly keep your current habit at home for your kids.
First, my potential shop owner rejected my request to use his shop. He said if I contact him 2 months ago, things will be different. He cannot let me use the shop now because he has execute his own plan and he need the shop. I feel my spirit drop to the very low level. Me cannot smile, me moody, me lazy, me sien....
Second, this is the best part. My boss blame me that I do not appreciate his hard work. He said he supported me all this while and now I cannot even fulfill his "small" request. He said he is not happy. He said he is disappointed that I cannot "help" him, eventhough he said this is his personal request.
Well well, he said he need time. I said I've given 2 month's time. When he said I do not appreciate his support, I begin to feel angry and very disappointed. I told him "If you want to talk about job duty, I've already go all out." Then, he said 'ha la ha la' and he hang up there. I'm sorry to say, I really look down at him. I do not see his leadership. I do not know how this way of solving problem can help him to retain me. I think he only make me feel even frustrated.
Now, shall I leave as planned or extend since he treated me like that? Before the conversation, I understand, that, when one is working for people, no matter how much effort you put in, your boss might not see it nor appreciate it, no matter how strong you are, regardless of how good you are, you are easily replaced by someone senior than you or even stronger than you or even a junior who know nothing.
After the conversation, I've now officially experienced it. Very sad, for all the effort and extra effort that I've injected in my work, not only it is not appreciated as professional, it is not even labelled as 'work'.
Dear Sir, I've done everything I can and I can't. I'd outdo myself to fulfill your requirement. It is ok if people from other department do not understand. I simply cannot accept you yourself, after so many experiences, failed to understand. No wonder, all under you leave one by one. I don't think I owe you anything or I do not contribute enough.
However if your little mind do not recognise, I wish you all the best. Enough is enough. I shall consider to just pull out and leave you alone. You must realise what are you doing and what have you contribute to our effort and grievances.
Last but not least, please remember you are the top person in your department in an adult world. Your image and leadership is important, for people to respect you and work for you. Kindly keep your current habit at home for your kids.
Saturday, January 03, 2009
I have many holidays that I need to clear. I only need to work for less than half a month if I clear all in Jan. Great isn't it? This is the time when I see my effort of working on public holidays pays off.
I've decided to leave 'you'. I just need to get a confirmation then I can plan how to have a new life after leaving you.
I feel a bit of down because of the transition period, bit of disappointment of the treatment I received, bit of reluctant as I've started all this, I see how the baby, the best in North was born, how it is nurtured to make it work and make it a success, how I make my way through the hard times, I really have to thank you a lot.
I cannot have 100% confidence that this is the right time to leave you because I would not know what comes after leaving you. Everything is in tip top condition now, I do not want or hope to see disappointed face among others too. I'm sure I will give them who see us grow together a shock for CNY. :(
Me don't know... Me do hope, after we've parted, you will still grow and gain respect from the public, you will still have the charm that I see on you. I will have to start a new life again, not knowing what is ahead of me.
I'm not sure if I'm perfectly OK, but, I just have to face it. I might fall
again, just like how I suffer during the initial stage we were together, I hope I can handle it better than last time.
Hmm... Note to readers: Don't worry I'm not going through a break up ya! This is about my career. i hope I do not give you a shock again. =)
I've decided to leave 'you'. I just need to get a confirmation then I can plan how to have a new life after leaving you.
I feel a bit of down because of the transition period, bit of disappointment of the treatment I received, bit of reluctant as I've started all this, I see how the baby, the best in North was born, how it is nurtured to make it work and make it a success, how I make my way through the hard times, I really have to thank you a lot.
I cannot have 100% confidence that this is the right time to leave you because I would not know what comes after leaving you. Everything is in tip top condition now, I do not want or hope to see disappointed face among others too. I'm sure I will give them who see us grow together a shock for CNY. :(
Me don't know... Me do hope, after we've parted, you will still grow and gain respect from the public, you will still have the charm that I see on you. I will have to start a new life again, not knowing what is ahead of me.
I'm not sure if I'm perfectly OK, but, I just have to face it. I might fall
again, just like how I suffer during the initial stage we were together, I hope I can handle it better than last time.
Hmm... Note to readers: Don't worry I'm not going through a break up ya! This is about my career. i hope I do not give you a shock again. =)
Thursday, January 01, 2009
Happy New Year!!
1 Jan 2009 marks the 1st day of the year of cow.
I'm working today!! Well well, supermarket people like me have the opposite holiday like the majority. We work on public holiday! Our workload is heavy and our reward for that is extra holiday! ;) You will pity us when you go for holiday but envy when we go for long holiday while you're working, then you wonder what company is that to give so many holidays for the employee.
My 1st day of working in 2009 is not very smooth. Arrghhh... spoil the new year mood. We are busy entertaining complaints because of price discrepancies!! Oh my my.. thats the least that I will think of to get busy on a New Year Day. Business is good, it's very crowded and long queue at the cashier counter. However the unhappy faces are a lot too. It somehow reach my threshold of patience towards the evening. In order to protect my customers, to secure my extremely high target this year, to cut down the number of unhappy customers and to make everything smooth for aall my staffs, I can't help but to seek for phone numbers from another colleague to get all the price to go back to its normal promotional price.
Me stay back for 2 hours and only leave the store at 8.10pm. What a day! Leaving store with the thinking of price problem solved, there came another problem, customers looking for medicines just after i left! Sigh.... Why are they not coming when I'm there? I think I seriously need to reschedule my working hours.
I'm working today!! Well well, supermarket people like me have the opposite holiday like the majority. We work on public holiday! Our workload is heavy and our reward for that is extra holiday! ;) You will pity us when you go for holiday but envy when we go for long holiday while you're working, then you wonder what company is that to give so many holidays for the employee.
My 1st day of working in 2009 is not very smooth. Arrghhh... spoil the new year mood. We are busy entertaining complaints because of price discrepancies!! Oh my my.. thats the least that I will think of to get busy on a New Year Day. Business is good, it's very crowded and long queue at the cashier counter. However the unhappy faces are a lot too. It somehow reach my threshold of patience towards the evening. In order to protect my customers, to secure my extremely high target this year, to cut down the number of unhappy customers and to make everything smooth for aall my staffs, I can't help but to seek for phone numbers from another colleague to get all the price to go back to its normal promotional price.
Me stay back for 2 hours and only leave the store at 8.10pm. What a day! Leaving store with the thinking of price problem solved, there came another problem, customers looking for medicines just after i left! Sigh.... Why are they not coming when I'm there? I think I seriously need to reschedule my working hours.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
2008 at a glance
2008 is a very exciting year.
I experienced the toughest stage of working for people, to set up a supermarket Wal-Mart concept Pharmacy and Wellness centre.
I experienced working with listed company.
I'm hurt by someone whom I thought I could trust him the most.
I've completed half of the years of installment of my car.
I've changed, myself, to be a better person, who treasure life more than anytime before this.
I've made 2 major decisions in career, with the 3rd coming soon.
I'd experienced disappointment in career ladder too.
I'd managed to drive to KL & Klang alone.
I get to know more people.
I bought my 1st laptop.
I had the chance of going out with him, though we have 5 years gap, until
I feel hurt and pain, then I decided to move on, yet brain cells still can't help but thinking about him.I don't know what is in his mind. Neither am I sure that he know what is in mine.
I experienced my 1st tyre puncture.
I attended 3 best friends wedding, CH, CC, SD and 2 ROM, Bro & GS.
I spend quality time with old frens on 2008 New Year eve.
All in all, I think, I've become a better person in the year of 2008. I do hope I will be better in the months and year to come!!
Happy New Year! Gambate!
I experienced the toughest stage of working for people, to set up a supermarket Wal-Mart concept Pharmacy and Wellness centre.
I experienced working with listed company.
I'm hurt by someone whom I thought I could trust him the most.
I've completed half of the years of installment of my car.
I've changed, myself, to be a better person, who treasure life more than anytime before this.
I've made 2 major decisions in career, with the 3rd coming soon.
I'd experienced disappointment in career ladder too.
I'd managed to drive to KL & Klang alone.
I get to know more people.
I bought my 1st laptop.
I had the chance of going out with him, though we have 5 years gap, until
I feel hurt and pain, then I decided to move on, yet brain cells still can't help but thinking about him.I don't know what is in his mind. Neither am I sure that he know what is in mine.
I experienced my 1st tyre puncture.
I attended 3 best friends wedding, CH, CC, SD and 2 ROM, Bro & GS.
I spend quality time with old frens on 2008 New Year eve.
All in all, I think, I've become a better person in the year of 2008. I do hope I will be better in the months and year to come!!
Happy New Year! Gambate!
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
The End?
I cannot describe how much I dislike you, how much I wonder how did I end up feeling so stressful and frustrated after I commit myself to start a new life with you. Many times, I feel like putting the relationship to an end. I didn't. I keep on struggling within me to stay on, until the day, surprisingly, I realised I've fall for you.
It is you who gave me such priceless experience. You have inspired me and given me courage to move on with my life and challenge myself to aim higher, without fear. i treasure our relationship very much now, I couldn't help myself but keep on thinking about you and try all I can to strengthen the bond. Every obstacles is now a challenge to me.
However, very soon, I realised we have different goals/aims in life. It makes me ponder, whether our relationship will turn out to be fruitful, or we will end up in different path in life.
I think it is advisable to end our pathway which lead us to different direction. I can conclude that I like something I can't have. It is like a relationship between a couple, where both person do have feeling for each other but, they will never end up to be together because of different interest/ they are from different country and each party has to be in their own country.
Reluctant, sayang, but, life goes on. Our experience in life is our station in our life journey. We go to many many area, stop by, hang around, then we hop on to the train again and countinue our journey to go other station.
Never know I have the courage to do things like that. I really did.
It is you who gave me such priceless experience. You have inspired me and given me courage to move on with my life and challenge myself to aim higher, without fear. i treasure our relationship very much now, I couldn't help myself but keep on thinking about you and try all I can to strengthen the bond. Every obstacles is now a challenge to me.
However, very soon, I realised we have different goals/aims in life. It makes me ponder, whether our relationship will turn out to be fruitful, or we will end up in different path in life.
I think it is advisable to end our pathway which lead us to different direction. I can conclude that I like something I can't have. It is like a relationship between a couple, where both person do have feeling for each other but, they will never end up to be together because of different interest/ they are from different country and each party has to be in their own country.
Reluctant, sayang, but, life goes on. Our experience in life is our station in our life journey. We go to many many area, stop by, hang around, then we hop on to the train again and countinue our journey to go other station.
Never know I have the courage to do things like that. I really did.
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
Nike says: Just do it!
After i land myself in my new job this year, i have come to realised that, I really want to try many things and do many things while I am young and dare to fail. My action of giving the resignation letter before getting a job has actually inspired me and given me much encouragement to do many things I want to try in life. There is nothing to afraid of. just like what Nike says, JUST DO IT!
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Reflections of year 2008.
Hello December 2008!!Time flies... As my mind still vividly remember the conversation during CNY 2008 with all friends, December come knocking.. Wow!! Christmas is here!!
Let's refresh, what happened in year 2008...
The greatest change of me in 2008 is me landed myself ina new job.I was still working in my 1st company in the early years, after much delay of the idea of leaving. I remember I celebrated CNY with my secondary school collega friends as usual. At De Cacao with secondary school friend, our batchmate is getting more at late night, many come to the same spot without arrangement, and eventually we form a big group there, chatting away the night, with the friends whom we hardly speak to in high school, but speak like 10 years friend now. :) That's life.
I finally made up my mind to leave my 1st company, without planning what to do after leaving. That time, I only think--- I have to make the move. Otherwise I will be always here and nothing will happen, anyway. So, tada! i finally give da letter to my boss. Many were asking where am I going, and when my answer is I don't know, I see all kinds of shock and weird faces. Hmm....
Sometimes, I believe, we have to make the decision, and the solution will come on its own. I tried to apply to a few position, and went for a few interviews, Most required me to work in Klang Valley, and I'm not very comfortable with the area they require me to work. It was quite a hard decision. I'm afriad I will lose the job, at the same time worry that I will not like the job.
Eventually I found a good job, sorry.. a job I thotught was good, and landed myself in the company. So, i say goodbye to all bosses and business associates and colleagues and family, then start my new journey in life in KL. It was my first time in life to drive to KL from my hometown up north, driving to and fro for few trips. My temporary stay in KL was good, (because company bear all charges) hahah....
I start my new job in June after a trip with whole gang of friends from the same field to Sabah. Feel sad for not being able to join them in the future in view of the busy schedule. What to do?? Life goes on....
I was assigned to run a brand new concept store in North in Aug 2008. I was back in North in early Aug to prepare for the new store opening. I tell you, it was extremely challenging and interesting, and suffering!! Sigh.... I wake up early in the morning and came home late night, asking myself why am I doing all this. I keep telling myself, I have to survive until the store open, i simply cannot stop halfway. how torturing also I must go through t and make it happen. It really happened, my store was officially borned on 22 Aug 2008. It was a happy morning, happy day for me, all my colleagues and my bosseSS. It was also the 1st time of me chatting with the CEO of my company, with much honour.
It is a very new experience for me, with many extra condition that I have to fulfill, which I don't have to in my previous job, for example monthly target, supermarket management, incentives scheme, the so many types of procedureSSSS, I actually didn't take it seriously, until I notice I can really make it, that's when I try to take it as a challenge. Afterall, if i am able to achieve what is expected, it will certainly help my staff to get a better life. (they get more $$)
I actually always complaint and many a times, thought of giving up initially. Miracle happened, as said by my colleague, that i start to love my job eventually now.
Silly hor??..
Let's refresh, what happened in year 2008...
The greatest change of me in 2008 is me landed myself ina new job.I was still working in my 1st company in the early years, after much delay of the idea of leaving. I remember I celebrated CNY with my secondary school collega friends as usual. At De Cacao with secondary school friend, our batchmate is getting more at late night, many come to the same spot without arrangement, and eventually we form a big group there, chatting away the night, with the friends whom we hardly speak to in high school, but speak like 10 years friend now. :) That's life.
I finally made up my mind to leave my 1st company, without planning what to do after leaving. That time, I only think--- I have to make the move. Otherwise I will be always here and nothing will happen, anyway. So, tada! i finally give da letter to my boss. Many were asking where am I going, and when my answer is I don't know, I see all kinds of shock and weird faces. Hmm....
Sometimes, I believe, we have to make the decision, and the solution will come on its own. I tried to apply to a few position, and went for a few interviews, Most required me to work in Klang Valley, and I'm not very comfortable with the area they require me to work. It was quite a hard decision. I'm afriad I will lose the job, at the same time worry that I will not like the job.
Eventually I found a good job, sorry.. a job I thotught was good, and landed myself in the company. So, i say goodbye to all bosses and business associates and colleagues and family, then start my new journey in life in KL. It was my first time in life to drive to KL from my hometown up north, driving to and fro for few trips. My temporary stay in KL was good, (because company bear all charges) hahah....
I start my new job in June after a trip with whole gang of friends from the same field to Sabah. Feel sad for not being able to join them in the future in view of the busy schedule. What to do?? Life goes on....
I was assigned to run a brand new concept store in North in Aug 2008. I was back in North in early Aug to prepare for the new store opening. I tell you, it was extremely challenging and interesting, and suffering!! Sigh.... I wake up early in the morning and came home late night, asking myself why am I doing all this. I keep telling myself, I have to survive until the store open, i simply cannot stop halfway. how torturing also I must go through t and make it happen. It really happened, my store was officially borned on 22 Aug 2008. It was a happy morning, happy day for me, all my colleagues and my bosseSS. It was also the 1st time of me chatting with the CEO of my company, with much honour.
It is a very new experience for me, with many extra condition that I have to fulfill, which I don't have to in my previous job, for example monthly target, supermarket management, incentives scheme, the so many types of procedureSSSS, I actually didn't take it seriously, until I notice I can really make it, that's when I try to take it as a challenge. Afterall, if i am able to achieve what is expected, it will certainly help my staff to get a better life. (they get more $$)
I actually always complaint and many a times, thought of giving up initially. Miracle happened, as said by my colleague, that i start to love my job eventually now.
Silly hor??..
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Like something I can't have.
In life, sometimes, we have to choose and make decision. I have 2 things that I like, but I can't have it.
1st, a relationship. I'm afraid I can't have it, because we have different path in life. We are also in different place far away. I do not know whether there will be any outcome if we put our effort. How to maintain? How to build? Even if we can build and maintain it very well, we are not sure whether the relationship will have any happy ending. Reality bites.
2nd, a career that I once thought of giving up. I am now loving it. Amazing how I can transform from dislike a career to slowly loving it. One of my colleague say, "You are the first person to say that.. there must be a miracle that happened." hmm... I believe I come to this stage after going through the up and down all this while. It's more like an evolution. Unfortunately I discovered another side of me, whereby I am now at the junction of life again, time to make yet another decision that.determine my life. Hmm... Big decision.. I shall absorb it, decide and act fast. I need support!!!!
So, that's me now.. :~
1st, a relationship. I'm afraid I can't have it, because we have different path in life. We are also in different place far away. I do not know whether there will be any outcome if we put our effort. How to maintain? How to build? Even if we can build and maintain it very well, we are not sure whether the relationship will have any happy ending. Reality bites.
2nd, a career that I once thought of giving up. I am now loving it. Amazing how I can transform from dislike a career to slowly loving it. One of my colleague say, "You are the first person to say that.. there must be a miracle that happened." hmm... I believe I come to this stage after going through the up and down all this while. It's more like an evolution. Unfortunately I discovered another side of me, whereby I am now at the junction of life again, time to make yet another decision that.determine my life. Hmm... Big decision.. I shall absorb it, decide and act fast. I need support!!!!
So, that's me now.. :~
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Fight for your rights.
I gone through a period of emotional crisis lately. There were few issues that happened at the same time, and I got really frustrated. Now that things have settled, I start to reflects my life.
I realised in my life, i have to always fight for what I want. Reason? I do not usually get what i want/wish. When i was small, i do not get to buy sweets/junk food that other young chidren enjoy. i do not get extra money to bu the weekly paper magazine sold at 30cents at the side door of my primary school.
Once my parents brought us all to a book fair in Penang. I wanted to buy a book written by Enid Blyton (Did i spell that correctly??) and was rejected. I was so into the book and I wanted it so much, I do not understand why they say the writer is good, the story is good for our age to learn, yet i was not allowed to get one.
When i was in uni, i was the only one who do not have fancy dress, branded clothes, make up, car, cash, handphone etc. When i went to Scotland for further studies, i am the only one with no handphone and extra cash. Some were teasing me, I know. What to do? I do not have the priviledge to get those luxuries.
I thought to myself, that I am going to get what i want with my own effort when i grew up. It's ok I cannot get it now. I will do that later, when I am financially independent. i thank my parents for giving me such experience. Though it was painful, it really taught me of the vlue of life and the value of getting something with you rown effort.
I am slowly moving towards achieving things I want in life. from small item that i fancy to the necessity that I want to have, but to many others, it may be a luxury. I treasure what i have now, especially what I get from my hard work.
I appreciate life more.
I realised in my life, i have to always fight for what I want. Reason? I do not usually get what i want/wish. When i was small, i do not get to buy sweets/junk food that other young chidren enjoy. i do not get extra money to bu the weekly paper magazine sold at 30cents at the side door of my primary school.
Once my parents brought us all to a book fair in Penang. I wanted to buy a book written by Enid Blyton (Did i spell that correctly??) and was rejected. I was so into the book and I wanted it so much, I do not understand why they say the writer is good, the story is good for our age to learn, yet i was not allowed to get one.
When i was in uni, i was the only one who do not have fancy dress, branded clothes, make up, car, cash, handphone etc. When i went to Scotland for further studies, i am the only one with no handphone and extra cash. Some were teasing me, I know. What to do? I do not have the priviledge to get those luxuries.
I thought to myself, that I am going to get what i want with my own effort when i grew up. It's ok I cannot get it now. I will do that later, when I am financially independent. i thank my parents for giving me such experience. Though it was painful, it really taught me of the vlue of life and the value of getting something with you rown effort.
I am slowly moving towards achieving things I want in life. from small item that i fancy to the necessity that I want to have, but to many others, it may be a luxury. I treasure what i have now, especially what I get from my hard work.
I appreciate life more.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Part II
I am lucky to secure my position in Penang. So, I started my life with Aeon in Klang Valley, visiting all Wellness pharmacy to gain as much experience, skills, before my store pen in end August. I’ve been working there, travel up north and south frequently by driving alone. It’s kind of busy and crazy. I can be in Penang today and in KL tomorrow, back to penang next week. Sometimes I confused where am I supposed to be. Luckily I have a car with me. It is also my first time driving all the way from SP to KL alone, and the trip is enjoyable because there is no jam and traffic is very smooth.
4 August marks the day when I officially start working in my store in Bandar Perda, Penang. There were so many things to prepare, so many parties to entertain, so many big and small issue to handle. From renovation, rectifying, cleaning, receiving, arranging, organizing, training, endless meetingssssSSSS to attend, bla bla bla…. The list goes on. My patience is very much challenged during that period of time. I start work very early and only comes home very late. It is really NOT easy to handle and IMPOSSIBLE to finish everything without effective manpower. Thank god, everything goes on quite smoothly, until the soft opening of Aeon Shopping Complex, Bandar Perda on 22 Aug 2008.
It was exciting to see the pharmacy finally open to the public after all hard work and sacrifice we’ve done for it to be a success. We have a good opening and everybody is happily feel exhausted and tired. My boss is also in good mood and happy. Phew…..
Everybody was so excited to know how is the response and sales on our 1st day of opening. There is a Chinese saying, “It is not easy to start a business, and even harder to maintain the business” I couldn’t agree more and I actually feel stress about it. When you’re doing well, boss will expect something better from you. If you cannot make it, whatever contribution or hard work you’ve put in might become meaningless. That’s what I worry about. My boss has already increase my target for October L and he already informed me that target for 2009 will be higher. Oh god! How??? Worse, my first target next year is THREE (3) times my target this year. I better don’t think of it now to give additional stress for myself.
I’ve stay with Aeon for 4months+ now. I am relieved I actually gone through it and finding a balance in my work. If you ask me how’s is it like working with Aeon? My reply would be: It is a roller coster like experience.
Seriously, it’s not a normal task for anybody to join Aeon, especially a pharmacist. Culture shock is normal. Job that seems out of our responsibilities are also normal. Whatever seems to be common sense and normal to us, might not be normal to the company. I’ve gone through a severe culture shock in the early stage of my employment when I was still in KL, and major crisis happened when I first came back to Penang for the very early preparation of our new store opening, when I first meet all the other colleagues. I really feel like crying, tears rolling in my eyes and my colleague ask me whether I didn’t get enough sleep. She then told me that it is normal if I react like this now. It is very common every pharmacist will feel like how I feel. L A BIG SIGH……. That time I feel like running away and quit right away, go far away from Aeon. I wish time pass in the speed of light, that everything will be over, just like that. I have no heart to continue the journey. It was a painful experience.
So how did I survived until today huh??? Maybe perseverence and patience is the key. Emotional support from my pharmacist manager and pharmacist colleague did helped a lot. I will be fine if they understand how I feel at that moment. Luckily they understand, because they’ve gone through what I am going through. I wouldn’t say I’m stable now but I’m learning to be stable and stay cool for any disaster that happens.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
New exciting and challenging life (Part I)
I have been away for so long. Let me post some updates.
I went to Kota Kinabalu again on 30 May 2008. The trip was relaxing but not as fun as my 2nd trip there where I can get superb place to stay (Sutera Harbour Resort Hotel) , nice delicious seafood to indulge, and also Mandara spa to relax myself. That was my first time doing full body massage and strangely after the massage I didn’t have much feeling about it. Either the massager is not good enough, or I have no stress. (Is that possible ???)
I report duty to my new job with a Japanese company a day after I came back from KK. I was told to be there 8.45am, but when I reach there on time, nobody is there attending to me because, according to the security, all staff went for assembly. So I sit there and wait….wait…..wait……
It was the HR staff who briefed us on the company and we’re given a handbook, one of the interesting content of the handbook is category of misconduct. If any staff were found of any misconduct that is categorized, then action will be taken. They actually have a “court” to penalize those who were found guilty of the misconduct. I’d better be a good person in this company to avoid this kind of treatment.
I was then being brought to the HQ office, which gave me a big surprise, of how actually is their work place in this big company. It is all open with no cubicle at all, and there are many strings hanging, those were the switch to the lights. It’s is not centralized. This is in line to their policy to love the environment and to cut electricity cost. Every staff will have a table and a computer, and the tables were arranged together so that all staff sit face to face, with manager sitting at the end, facing all staff.
This open concept gave us a surprise, we really didn’t expect such a company will have such a policy. Office itself is an eye opener to us.
2 June marks the new era in my life, I become an employee of a Japanese company, Aeon Bhd, working in Aeon Wellness Pharmacy. It is a brand new life with loads of new things to explore and learn and also suffer, suffer as in, no pain no gain. To be continued……
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Bye bye..... Hello!!
This entry inspired by Mariah Carey's latest single- "Bye Bye".
It doesn't have anythign to do with the lyric though, since Bye bye is for those who lost somebody.
My bye bye is to bye my current job. Today is my 2nd last day in the company. New job starting very soon, new environment, new exposure. something that I excitingly anticipating. Not that I don't like my current job, but it's jz det I feel, it's time to move on.
I spend 3 yrs ++ in 1 job. Sure there are so manyy memories that I cherish. Sometimes when I think of the chronology of my working experience, it really gives me a laugh. Whatever I've gonen through is precious in my life.
It took a strong will and courage to give "da letter". Once given, i feel relieved s finally I managed to reli, MAKE the decision and free myself from keep on thinking about 1 same thing.
To bye, I wish to say a BIG THANK YOU to my boss, my staff, my colleagues, reps, managers, supervisors, etc all involved in my 3 yrs ++ service. I wish you all the best!!! and DO KEEP IN TOUCH!!!!!
I shall tidy my table tomorrow, b4 i say Good Bye! :)
It doesn't have anythign to do with the lyric though, since Bye bye is for those who lost somebody.
My bye bye is to bye my current job. Today is my 2nd last day in the company. New job starting very soon, new environment, new exposure. something that I excitingly anticipating. Not that I don't like my current job, but it's jz det I feel, it's time to move on.
I spend 3 yrs ++ in 1 job. Sure there are so manyy memories that I cherish. Sometimes when I think of the chronology of my working experience, it really gives me a laugh. Whatever I've gonen through is precious in my life.
It took a strong will and courage to give "da letter". Once given, i feel relieved s finally I managed to reli, MAKE the decision and free myself from keep on thinking about 1 same thing.
To bye, I wish to say a BIG THANK YOU to my boss, my staff, my colleagues, reps, managers, supervisors, etc all involved in my 3 yrs ++ service. I wish you all the best!!! and DO KEEP IN TOUCH!!!!!
I shall tidy my table tomorrow, b4 i say Good Bye! :)
Tuesday, May 06, 2008
Recruitment
My current company is recruiting for pharmacist to be based in Sg Petani, Kedah.
Me start to feel worry because there is only 1 candidate for us but the candidate is out from our consideration.
Anyone, please if you have frens/relatives/bisness associate/uncle's@ aunty's daughter/son, etc etc, do feel free to
contact me at 04-4215044 / 04-4202100, or
fax resume to 04-4253946. Alternatively
e-mail us at zuphar@yahoo.com
btw, my company name is Zuffa Pharmacy Sdn Bhd. A chain pharmacy in northern region.
Salary negotiable with experience, pharmacist enjoy flexible working hours n other benefits..
Me start to feel worry because there is only 1 candidate for us but the candidate is out from our consideration.
Anyone, please if you have frens/relatives/bisness associate/uncle's@ aunty's daughter/son, etc etc, do feel free to
contact me at 04-4215044 / 04-4202100, or
fax resume to 04-4253946. Alternatively
e-mail us at zuphar@yahoo.com
btw, my company name is Zuffa Pharmacy Sdn Bhd. A chain pharmacy in northern region.
Salary negotiable with experience, pharmacist enjoy flexible working hours n other benefits..
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
沉醉其中
昨天上了一个Dinner talk, 演讲人来自英国伦敦。本人心里很自然的想象自己仿佛身在英国，在那熟悉的天气和熟悉的地方上课，乐在其中！很满意，很开心，什么都值得了。这次的参与也令我觉得不枉此行，因为我很享受！隔天起了个大早到海边跑步，早餐之后到镇上补货，然后就起程去上班咯！生活过得很写意，也很充实。
有时候，觉得自己其实不能活得很轻松。轻松下来就会觉得很彷徨无助，生活没有目标，觉得有点虚度青春。 看来，是真的得让自己忙得不可开交才行。
期待着我的新目标。。。 =）
有时候，觉得自己其实不能活得很轻松。轻松下来就会觉得很彷徨无助，生活没有目标，觉得有点虚度青春。 看来，是真的得让自己忙得不可开交才行。
期待着我的新目标。。。 =）
Saturday, February 23, 2008
5th car service
When people generally can't wait for Sunday to come, I wait for Friday as my day off falls on Friday in my state. It's another Friday today and my car is due for its 5th service. My plan for the day is to send my car for service then head to Penang island to get few things done, also partly to satisfy my crave for a 100% stress free day with window shopping.
I remember I spent about RM 200 to change the transmission oil the last time I service my car (routine). Luckily this time I pay less than RM 10. I thought of sending the car early so that it can be ready by 1pm so that I can cross the Penang bridge to Penang island. Unfortunately by the time I got my car back, it's already 3.15pm. It's quite late for me to go to the island because I will be caught in the massive Friday jam, fighting with those who work in island to come back to the mainland.
There was a delay in the car service. Half way walking to claim my car one technician came and say he forgot to inform about the problem with the car battery. I am still happy with the delay of the car service because they change the car battery and it is FOC (still under warranty ma) else I guess I have to pay another RM 200 again. Now the car is back to its top condition :)
I hang around in Auto City with a biz fren that afternoon and had a stress free tea time. While waiting for my sis to meet me for dinner, I head to one boutique nearby. I tried 2 dress, which the sales girl try her best to alter the oversize dress and keep on pushing me to buy the dress immediately. That really pissed me off and I quickly tell that I'm in a rush I have to go. I will never go to that boutique again.
Nvm with the unhappy incident. I am still in good mood. hehe.... I later joined my sis to have Korean food dinner. Recently went with a fren to try a Korean food restaurant in SP and the comment on the food is not so nice but acceptable. This one I went with my sis is one of the big chain in Malaysia so I thought I can taste the real nice Korean food. The outcome was very disappointing. Every food is very super salty!!!! The spicy kimchi soup taste is killed by the saltiness. It's definitely highly NOT recommended for people with health problems especially those with high blood pressure. Disappointing..... disappointing.......
I treat myself very very well this festive February by feeding my stomach all good and expensive food. Had 3 rounds 3 rounds of Jap food (1 buffet 2 ala carte), with the 4th coming tomorrow (same Jap food buffet dinner 2 times in a month), 2 rounds Korean food, countless CNY food and cookies, Penang street food 1 week before CNY, 2 rounds of karaoke, with the 3rd coming tomorrow also after jap food buffet. Wow!!!! What a life..
I remember I spent about RM 200 to change the transmission oil the last time I service my car (routine). Luckily this time I pay less than RM 10. I thought of sending the car early so that it can be ready by 1pm so that I can cross the Penang bridge to Penang island. Unfortunately by the time I got my car back, it's already 3.15pm. It's quite late for me to go to the island because I will be caught in the massive Friday jam, fighting with those who work in island to come back to the mainland.
There was a delay in the car service. Half way walking to claim my car one technician came and say he forgot to inform about the problem with the car battery. I am still happy with the delay of the car service because they change the car battery and it is FOC (still under warranty ma) else I guess I have to pay another RM 200 again. Now the car is back to its top condition :)
I hang around in Auto City with a biz fren that afternoon and had a stress free tea time. While waiting for my sis to meet me for dinner, I head to one boutique nearby. I tried 2 dress, which the sales girl try her best to alter the oversize dress and keep on pushing me to buy the dress immediately. That really pissed me off and I quickly tell that I'm in a rush I have to go. I will never go to that boutique again.
Nvm with the unhappy incident. I am still in good mood. hehe.... I later joined my sis to have Korean food dinner. Recently went with a fren to try a Korean food restaurant in SP and the comment on the food is not so nice but acceptable. This one I went with my sis is one of the big chain in Malaysia so I thought I can taste the real nice Korean food. The outcome was very disappointing. Every food is very super salty!!!! The spicy kimchi soup taste is killed by the saltiness. It's definitely highly NOT recommended for people with health problems especially those with high blood pressure. Disappointing..... disappointing.......
I treat myself very very well this festive February by feeding my stomach all good and expensive food. Had 3 rounds 3 rounds of Jap food (1 buffet 2 ala carte), with the 4th coming tomorrow (same Jap food buffet dinner 2 times in a month), 2 rounds Korean food, countless CNY food and cookies, Penang street food 1 week before CNY, 2 rounds of karaoke, with the 3rd coming tomorrow also after jap food buffet. Wow!!!! What a life..
Sunday, October 14, 2007
I feel.... alone---lonely
How will you feel if you knot or don hv to do something you do everyday@ on a routine?
I feel lonely.
A close fren will be away for 4 days with no way of communication. Another fren will be away for at least a month, even my brother will be away for 3 weeks. The boredom is killing me slowly. I find it hard to get used to the situation. Suddenly I feel as though the world has nobody except me. All alone, helpless, scary, sad.
The biggest weakness of mine is I am able to make myself feel down and cannot lift my own mood. I like to be in the sad grey world of myself. This is so ^*#@#$%^ I myself hate. It is extremely hard for people to motivate me, almost hopeless for me to motivate myself. This is also a major problem that stop me from making important decision in life with my career.
I know this is not right but I cannot figure out the solution.
:(
I feel lonely.
A close fren will be away for 4 days with no way of communication. Another fren will be away for at least a month, even my brother will be away for 3 weeks. The boredom is killing me slowly. I find it hard to get used to the situation. Suddenly I feel as though the world has nobody except me. All alone, helpless, scary, sad.
The biggest weakness of mine is I am able to make myself feel down and cannot lift my own mood. I like to be in the sad grey world of myself. This is so ^*#@#$%^ I myself hate. It is extremely hard for people to motivate me, almost hopeless for me to motivate myself. This is also a major problem that stop me from making important decision in life with my career.
I know this is not right but I cannot figure out the solution.
:(
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